It’s disheartening to see or hear of any marriage on the rocks. Whether it’s a celebrity, friend or someone in your family, the one phrase I’ve grown to loath is, “Marriage is work.”
Let me be brief…my husband and I might be polar opposites.
With so many differences, we have every excuse to say, “Marriage is work.” Not every day is a bed of roses, but we committed all of ourselves to each other, not just our best self. My commitment was not to work through the days our differences got the better of us; it was a promise to love everything about who he is, all day, every day, forever (period).
I knew I was marrying a man with a logical explanation for everything. I knew he was a cat person who only makes a plan when it comes to mastering a new skill, and I knew we might never see eye-to-eye on art and music. I also knew that his logical thinking would bring me balance when tempted to make an emotional decision. I knew his distain for cooking would motivate me to grow my kitchen talents. His soft spoken ways inspire me to be a better listener, and I love using my free-spirited ways as ammo for playful pestering.
The Myers-Briggs personality test is administered by a lot of marriage counselors. This test is not meant to be used to persecute or criticize each other, but to better understanding and serve each other. Take your personality test here. Read more about your results here.
“Sometimes dubbed “the golden pair,” many have noted the potential for great compatibility and camaraderie in INTP (Ben) INFJ (Me) relationships.”
Both seemingly perfect and pitiful marriages made the same vows, so what is the difference? As a believer, I can say without a shadow of doubt, that all relationships, look much different with God at the center. Here are six reasons why…
- Love – “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1Peter 4:8)
- Forgiveness – “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood.” (Eph 6:12)
- Grace – “Free and unmerited favor.” (definition)
- Humility – “…those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Matt 23:12)
- Peace – “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.” (Phil 4:7)
- Help – “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22)
Speaking relatively, are you willing to really try? I genuinely hope the culture of marriage will change for the better. Divorce has been glorified as an easy-out for those with irreconcilable differences. If you willingly and lovingly entered into a marriage, there is hope for redemtion! Throw out the boxing gloves, burn your white flag, put selfish agendas aside and start asking God how to better love our S.O.
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